Over the past few months, I’ve stumbled into the realization that I dont really love myself. Also the realization that I want to [love myself]. I have done so many awesome things in my life, I am lucky enough to have found someone to share love with and have so many big dreams, but until I learn to accept and love myself I’ll never appreciate where I’ve been, where im going or what I have. Over the past week or so I’ve read quite a few tiny buddha posts that have begun to help me through this, ones that have struck me are linked below. I’m not really sure if this is too personal of a post, but it is how I am feeling I watched a ted talk today that gave me the confidence to post my feelings. It is on the importance of vulnerability how it can help in making connections with other people along with the message that wherever you are, you are enough.
This is Brené Brown
She does an encouraging ted talk on feeling worthy:
Now onto the tiny buddha wisdom. Remember to love yourself.
Telling yourself what a failure you are won’t make you any more successful. Telling yourself you’re not living up to your full potential won’t help you reach a higher potential. Telling yourself you’re worthless and unlovable won’t make you feel any more worthy or lovable.
I know it sounds almost annoyingly simple, but the only way to achieve self-love is to love yourself—regardless of who you are and where you stand and even if you know you want to change.
You are enough just as you are. And self-love will be a little bit easier every time you remind yourself of that.
But the harder I tried, the more I realized that I didn’t fit in. Not because I was doing anything wrong but because, the truth is, “fitting in” is an illusion.
We are more than just our personalities, our likes, and dislikes.
We’re more than our gifts, talents, and skills.
We’re more than what we do, and we’re most certainly more than our bank accounts (or lack thereof).
In truth, I believe our real identity actually brings us closer together rather than further apart, and it’s less about “fitting in” and more about truly connecting with one another.
There is nothing wrong with striving to be the best you can be. However, it’s important to cut yourself some slack when you fall short of expectations.
Making a mistake or not being perfect is simply part of being human. If you didn’t do your best, it’s okay and it’s really not the end of the world. Dust yourself off, keep moving forward, and love yourself for all your imperfections!
While it’s definitely not easy at first, I promise that learning to love yourself really does pay off. The love and kindness we have for ourselves may eventually allow us to change the world!
My new understanding of myself and others became: We are all infinitely and eternally beautiful souls, intrinsically worthy of love.
Each one of us are intrinsically worthy of love, not because we are entitled to other people giving it to us, but because we are love. We are all whole and need nothing outside of ourselves to complete us.
I guess the point is, at any given time we are surrounded by others that have felt insecure and unloved, that worry about being worthy of belonging and can relate to what may be one of our biggest fears.
I don’t believe there is a human out there that doesn’t have this inner child in them that yearns for the reassurance that they are okay. Most of us have had at least one experience somewhere along the line that has left the lingering question of whether or not we are good enough.
I think we all carry these wounds around with us. Some of us face unthinkable things and suffer from much deeper wounds and fears than others.
I just can’t help but think if we all gave ourselves permission to not be so hard on ourselves, or to each other, the ride could be a little gentler. When we come back to that place in life where our hearts are open, we are less likely to be so critical of others and of ourselves.
As I faced challenges in my personal growth, I learned to be kind to myself. If a friend was struggling with an uncomfortable emotion, I would never criticize that friend with language like, “Why can’t you just learn to be happy all of the time?!” So I don’t speak to myself that way either.
5. Give yourself a hug.
Go on. Right now. Just do it. That felt good, didn’t it?
Self-compassion is an inside job. I’ve learned that if I am gentle with myself, the world becomes a gentler place. I invite you to experience it too.
Helping each other remember to love ourselves a lot recently. This post goes out to you, Ray